Please Lord, Not My Son

My heart, mind, body, and soul are screaming out right now.

I received the call today that no mama wants to get.....my baby boy is going to Iraq.

Even though he is old enough, he is still just a baby to me. He is the best daddy in the world and has just experienced having a son. His heart belongs to his little girl though, she thinks the sun rises and sets in her daddy. She is so much like him....full of life and into everything. You can't turn your head or she will be gone and into something.

I remember the day he was born... the doctors pronounced him dead. The cord was wrapped 3 times around his neck and in 2 knots. He was as blue as the color I am using to type this. He was a big baby, 9lbs 10 oz. The Anesthesiologist took him and said "let me try".... he shoved a tube down Jon's throat and sucked the fluid out of his lungs and spat it on the floor.... after the third time of doing this, Jonathan stiffened out and let out a squall that could be heard down the hall. That was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. He was placed in the nicu unit in case he had pneumonia from the fluid he had swallowed. Within 2 hrs, they were calling me on the phone asking me if they could bring him to me. He was hungry, screaming, and waking all of the little ones in the nicu. They called him "Little Brute"... He's been my baby all of his life and still fusses when he is hungry (which is all the time)...LOL

I have always felt because of his birth, God has a calling for Jon. He won't talk much about God, but I hope and pray he will find his way to Him soon.

He is the most tenderhearted of my children and so loving and kind. Always standing up for the underdog.

My mind still cannot conceive he is going to war and will be gone a year and a half.. I am still in shock. I look at him and see this little giggling blond haired blue eyed full of life boy....they look at him and see a man ready to defend his country.

It will do me no good to tell him "don't be a hero".... because I know deep in my heart that if the situation arises and he has a chance to save someone, he will, even at the expense of his life. That's the way he is. And I am so proud of him.

I will join the thousands of moms waiting to hear from their sons or daughters..... the long nights of crying, and wondering if he's hungry, or scared, or hurt....

I can tell you that I am not going to handle this very well, but I will pray daily and with God's help, I will lean on Him.

In His Love,

"Jonfanon" Jonathan's mommy